On my Facebook page, a friend greeted with “Happy Birthday! How does it feel to be thirty?” While I very much wanted to answer him “Pretty much what you felt TEN years ago!” (he’s not really forty by the way), I seriously thought about his question too.
How does it feel to be thirty? How does it feel to have lived three decades in this world?
At thirty, I have been to many places, seen and observed different people. I’ve had to opportunity to be (somewhat) financially stable due to a job that challenged and developed my skills and talents. I have been able to contribute to society. I have been able to support my Mama as well. There are many things I have done and I am happy to have been able to do all of those things.
The year prior to this milestone birthday has not been an easy one. My friends and family can attest to the number of challenges I’ve faced. It started with a decision years ago, to finally pursue an old dream – the dream of working overseas. But, while it was my dream, it wasn’t something I can accomplish on my own. I needed the help and support of the people around me. I needed money to fuel my dream. This goal has caused me so much stress and anxiety that when asked to describe 2013, I often would say that it is my worst year ever. I was tired, depressed, stressed, my health fluctuated, I didn’t sleep right, I cried a lot, I could go on and on. Suffice it to say that I was in my worst state.
But every now and then, something comes up to show me I wasn’t alone. There were little reminders here and there, encouraging me to continue. I will always be grateful to the people who saw the greatness in me, especially during the times when I couldn’t see it for myself – my Mama, family, friends and colleagues.
Through it all, I asked for God’s grace, that He bless me and grant me, not with an easier burden, but with #perseverance and #endurance as I went #fightingforme.
I felt that I have gained a little bit of wisdom – the wisdom to know that failure isn’t fatal, it is only in moving forward that you succeed a little bit more. Wisdom to know that after one challenge, another one will come along, and it will test you in many ways. Wisdom to learn from mistakes and plan better and yet still live live in the moment. Wisdom to know that there is always an opportunity to be stronger, faster, smarter, better.
Now, at thirty, I feel old and young at the same time. I have done much and yet there is still much to do. I have been to lots of places and yet there is still plenty left to explore. My only hope and prayer is that I be granted a lot more decades to live to my fullest potential.
So, how does it feel to be thirty? The same as when I turned twenty-nine. And, most likely the same when I turn thirty-one. Age is just a number anyway. =)